Alternate Methods
by tdy4234
Summary: Just a little plot bunny I figured up waiting to be unloaded in Laredo texas. If it's received well I will continue because this is definitely a path NEVER tread on this site please review good and bad thanks .CRACK ONE SHOT MAYBE MORE DEPENDING ON RECEPTION


BOOM

Percy woke with a start, he had finally been able to lay down to rest after a long day of sorting out the logistics of all the new cabins that were being built for the minor gods children after he had requested this as his reward instead of godhood for killing Kronos.

BOOM! BOOM!

Percy quickly drug himself out of bed, grabbing riptide and throwing in some shoes to see what was happening. Upon exiting his cabin he could see lights flashing and could hear the road of an engine over the crest of half blood hill.

He took off as fast as he could towards the hill, if nothing else he would defend the golden fleece hanging from Thalia's tree. Upon approaching the summit of the hill, the screaming of the engine he heard got significantly louder, the loud exploding sounds continued and… was that music?

"_I'm a charger, that charges though the night! Like an orange bolt of lightning passing everything in sight!" _

The lights continued to light up the treeline casting light on the sleepy faces of nymphs and dryads of the forest

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"YEEE-HAW COME GET SOME YOU SOME BITCHES!"

_"I'm a knight, like the kind in shining armor, with my polished body gleaming.."_

Whatever Percy thought he might see when he crested the hill wasn't even close to what he actually saw. Looking down into the valley that was on the other side of the hill, he saw an invading force of at least 500 monsters of varying types all in disarray. And smack dab in the middle of that invading force, hauling every bit of ass that it possibly could, was an old Chevy pickup, painted orange with an 01 on the side.

It had spotlights on a roll bar which was the cause of the moving lights, two flags flew behind it, one black and bearing the mark of Hephaestus, the other yellow with a rattlesnake in the middle.

The truck span around and the most curious thing happened, as the big mud tires carried the rig into the crowd of monsters, the ones it hit vaporized into the trademark yellow dust of a dead beastie. Percy surmised that the bumper was made of celestial bronze, that's when it happened.

Out of the passenger window popped a young man no older than he, wearing a set of coveralls, a ball cap, and toating a shotgun. "GIT SUM YOU UGLY FUCKERS!" he yelled and started taking pot shots into the croud of beasts.

For the better part of 20 minutes Percy and the denizens of camp half blood stood on the hill in awe watching these two apparent sons of Hephaestus taking care of business. When the last monster fell, the driver celebrated, spinning a donut flinging mud and monster dust in all directions. Then a deep bovine roar was heard.

The driver spun the truck around pointing all lights at the Minotaur. Percy wondered for a moment how it had reformed fast. It didn't matter though as the driver hopped out of the truck, he was of sturdy build and every bit of six and a half foot tall.

"Ooo big ugly." He said as he pulled a large sledgehammer out of the bed of his truck throwing it up on his shoulder. The Minotaur roared his challenge. The driver smirked and said loud enough for all to hear

"C'mere boy, you gotta perty mouth!" And the two charged each other. The driver lept into the air with the hammer in an overhead swing. The hammer came down on the beasts forehead and with a loud boom both the horns blew off the beast in opposite directions and the now, nothing more than mush, head buried itself nearly two feet into the ground slowly turning to dust.

He shouldered the hammer walking back to the truck, his footsteps matching the beat of the song that was playing now. He carelessly threw the hammer into the bed of the truck, climbed in and began heading towards the line of campers at a reasonable pace. Upon approaching the line of campers the stopped and the passenger popped his head out of the window and yelled

"How the hell y'all doin? Seen ya had a couple beasties runnin round, thought we'd take care of em fer y'all. Mind if we come in?"

It was at this moment that Percy Jackson knew, his hopes of a quiet few weeks were shattered in an instant.


End file.
